Results of mole biopsy

As you might have read in my previous post, which you can find here , I had to get 3 moles removed by excision, as my dermatologist suspected that they were abnormal.

Just before I returned home after the operation, she said I could come in to remove the stitches after 2 weeks and we could then discuss the results of the biopsy about whether I had melanoma or not.

The results are back and I can happily say that there were no signs of melanoma, however there were signs of abnormalities in one of my moles and it’s good that it was removed, as in future it could have developed into melanoma. The biggest excision I had which was on my breast, was where there were 2 moles. One of them I had had since birth and it had just changed over the years as I got older and the 2nd one was a new smaller mole, that had appeared in the last year and had a very fuzzy edge. This smaller mole was the abnormal one.

The 3rd mole I had removed under my left armpit had 3 different colours in it and was also a newer mole.Although it looked suspicious on inspection, apparently it was just a harmless type of mole that resembles a suspicious mole.

I am extremely relieved and now that my stitches are removed I can finally go back to normal. I need to give the big excision another couple of weeks to heal before I can go swimming again but all in all this nerve-racking experience is finally over!

I have arranged to have a full body mole scan in October. I am in the high risk category due to the many moles I have, especially the high number of dysplastic nevi, which basically means moles that are atypical and look like they might be melanoma.

I am very grateful that I am melanoma free and will continue to keep a close eye on my health.

Love Athina ♥

Braunschweig and the Happiest house in the world :-)

Hubby and I are back safely from our trip celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary. It took a little longer to reach our destination (4,5 hours rather than 3,5). We did it the old fashioned way as we don’t have a sat nav yet and hubby doesn’t seem to want to get one either.

After we arrived, we checked into our hotel for a quick toilet break and cup of tea. The hotel was The Best Western Stadt Palais of Braunschweig which I highly recommend. The room was perfect and even had a kettle, which isn’t something most German hotels have.

The hotel was extremely central luckily so we found everything we needed within a 5 min walk.We had a very quick lunch as it was already 14:30 and then immediately started our exploring of the city. Hubby wanted to walk around to see what he could remember from the 90’s and we then went to his old house and school. 20 years is a long time to not have seen a place you lived at as a child. The house was exactly the same and he remembered it well. Everything looked a lot smaller than when he was a 12 year old kid but he generally had a good feeling about it. The town in general was extremely impressive and had such huge variety in regards to eating out, shopping and sights.

Our ultimate favourite tourist attraction of course was the Rizzi house which we visited first. This was one of the newest additions to the town as it was built in 2001. I absolutely loved the pop art style and the windows were all like giant cookie cutters in different shapes. There were so many cute features such as little birds, hearts and funny faces.

I have added several photos for you to check out!

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After the Rizzi house, we strolled around the rest of the town and these are a few more of my fave photos.

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If you ever visit Germany, then Braunschweig was one of my favourite cities 🙂

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me, by My Child Within and by Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

Trip to London Monday

I’m sitting on my balcony with a nice cup of jasmine tea, watching the birds fly from tree to tree. Our home here in Germany is surrounded by trees and grass and it truly is the most tranquil place I have ever lived. The Rheinland is beautiful, especially in the autumn and since buying our new car we have enjoyed the endless freedom we now have. Our car is only 5 months old and before we got it, we were already in Germany for 2 years without a car! Looking back on that time, I don’t know how we did it to be honest!

Now that the summer has ended and the days will continue to get shorter, it is comforting to know that we have a car for when the weather starts getting miserable. I am not a big fan of the dark and generally feel uneasy walking alone in the dark. I have already experienced 2 scary incidents with men. One of them being a minor sexual assault and the other one being rather odd and unexpected!Someone tried to steal the car I was sitting in, when my ex-boyfriend jumped out briefly to grab something from his home. It was dark and the street wasn’t well lit, so when the guy opened the car door and got in the drivers seat, he didn’t expect to see me sitting next to him in the passenger seat. We were both sitting there in utter shock to what seemed like the longest 20 sec of my life! He then said sorry and luckily ran away, just as my boyfriend was coming back out of the house!

As most women feel vulnerable walking alone at night, I am sure you can relate to how scary it can feel at times.

Anyhow, since hubby is away again for 15 days, I decided to go to London for 3 days to see friends & family. It is a great break from the isolation I sometimes feel here in Germany. I always miss my 2 homes, Greece and the UK. I lived in both for more than 11 years and since I am bicultural, they are both obviously a big part of who I am. I have friends and family in both, whereas here in Germany we only have my husband’s aunt, who we only see twice a year. I only have 1 friend nearby, so life here is very different to what I am used to. Although I enjoy spending lots of time at home, I do enjoy having varied friends around to meet up with and have a good chat. That isn’t really an option here in Germany. My husband is also a big introvert, so he generally feels happier on his own or with me. I on the other hand, would enjoy seeing friends more often.

Now that I have shared my social preferences with you, maybe you might enjoy doing the same? Are you an introvert or extrovert? Or do you think you are somewhere in the middle?

I would say that I feel energised around other people, but only with friends that I can be myself with. I am definetely somewhere in the middle, although my lifestyle is more that of an introvert, due to my husband being one.

I’d love to hear a little more about your preferences..

Love Athina ♥

Be grateful for your health

 

Our health is something a lot of us take for granted, amongst other things. We eat unhealthily, drink too much alcohol, smoke and dont exercise. The result is that we complain when we feel sluggish or have a bad cough. We complain when we look older than we are. We complain when we get ill very often and we complain when our significant other is sick of hearing us complain.

When you are younger in your early twenties, possibly at university, you tend to experiment more, party more and generally neglect your health. When you get closer to your 30’s, you start thinking in a more sensible way and can be more more worried about the future. You become more aware that you are putting on more weight, possibly getting ill more and your stress levels are also on the up, due to all the demands of work and parenting. The older we get, the more vulnerable we become. This doesn’t have to be the way it is however. It is up to us to change our lifestyles, reduce our stressors and generally live an active and healthier life. There are many people out there who are in theirs 50’s and have a healthier body than people in their 20’s.

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The reason for this particular post today, is because I have spent the last 5 days looking after a very ill husband who never usually gets ill. I mean he has had the odd cold here and there but never full blown flu. A high fever and nasty cough basically makes you feel like the walking dead. Your whole body aches and you are desperate to feel better. Unfortunately, as is usually the case when in close proximity to an ill person, I am also ill with the flu now and feeling utterly miserable. My cough is probably the most annoying part of my flu, as it is a dry cough which hurts my whole body. I am drinking honey and lemon tea all day long, and this bug just doesn’t want to leave me alone. I am so incredibly impatient and also feel very vulnerable.It’s been 3 days now and I have a long way to go still. The vulnerability I feel is a deeper issue, but I can say that I am deeply missing my good health right now. Even trying to write this blog post is hurting my eyes, my head and I feel like I have to go to bed again. Eurgh! How annoying!

As someone who never felt secure or comforted in their own body, I remember feeling extremely vulnerable when I would get the flu as a young child. Luckily, despite my father’s complete and utter hopelessness when it came to dealing with health related matters, my mum was a trained nurse and very sensibly nursed me back to health on many occassions. I felt comforted that she knew what she was doing, however I still missed the affection I so desperately craved. She tried to be affectionate at times but it was never genuine. Every hug felt empty and devoid of any true empathy. A child can sense this. Most of the time I just felt like a burden, as I could see she always had this exhausted, bitter look on her face.

I clearly remember this one time when I was around 9, when the whole family had the flu. I was the only one awake in the house. I remember sitting in the lounge in complete darkness  and I felt completely alone and very scared. My Dad was passed out on the sofa from the flu, my mum was passed out in the bedroom and my brother in his room.I guess as a young child, I felt insecure. There was no one to talk to and I guess I knew not to wake them up. I must have thought they were all going to die or something. It was only around 6pm in evening.

This feeling has stayed with me ever since. The feeling of not wanting to be left alone and especially not when I am ill.

I generally feel incredibly lucky to live in a country where healthcare is good, where overall, I have a reasonably healthy body and I have easy access to proper nourishment.Other people dont have this.When I read articles or watch the news on those suffering, I want to help. It isnt fair that they have to suffer more. It isn’t fair that they were born in a war zone or in poverty. That might as well be me or you. I keep saying to myself ”be grateful”or ”imagine if you felt as horrid as you do now, but also didnt have a warm bed, clean water and healthy food”.

I am also very grateful my husband is here. I can’t even begin to count the numerous times I was alone and ill whilst a student and my mother (who lived an hour away on the train) wouldn’t come to even visit me. She didn’t even come when I had a chest infection and a fever of 40 C. My boyfriend at the time said that his mother would come in a heartbeat to look after him, even though she lived 4 hours away.

To those of you who are suffering and are alone at the moment, I feel for you!

I am sorry you feel scared and alone.

I am sorry you don’t feel loved or cared for.

I care..

Look after yourself x

 

A happy day..and a few of my favourite things..

Today is a happy day for my husband and I, so I really wanted to share this with my lovely readers. As much as I enjoy and find it important to blog about mental health issues, it is also good to change the context a little and write about the joys in life.

Before I announce the reason why we are so happy however, I would also like to say my thanks to a kind blogger who has nominated me for the ‘One lovely blog’ award. That blogger is the lovely Finding my way home. I will create another post to give thanks for this award and nominate people.

Our happiness today is due to the fact that we bought our first brand new car 🙂 First things in life are important. Not so much materialistic things but moments shared with loved ones. A baby’s first word, our first kiss, our first friend, our first love, our first job etc.

A car to us means freedom and comfort in so many ways..A first car means ‘feeling proud that you worked hard, saved the money and earned it’. A first car feels important in our 1st year of marriage. Last time we had a car was 3 years ago and it was a very old car which only lasted 2 months.. At the time, we lived in a very remote part of England and when the car broke down, we were very sad for at least a month. Since then, we moved home 3 times and had to rent cars and vans. With renting cars, comes of course the responsibility of making sure they don’t get damaged in any way..and there is the time limit. Now, we will finally have the freedom to do as we please and get to places that aren’t accessible by train or tram..

Below is the photo of our new beauty 🙂  A Seat Mii but with 3 doors not 5..and we got it in white with a sun roof 🙂 We wanted a car that was small and cheap to run..and comfortable..We did a test drive today and were very happy! It’s also a great city car when parking is an issue.

It will be ready in April and will be delivered straight to our car dealer, which is round the corner from our home. Woohoo..

seat-mii-5-door

Secondly, I wanted to share a few other things that I think are really unique.

I’m not a materialistic sort of person but wanted to share a couple of creative shops I love on etsy:  I really value handmade things and also prefer to support small businesses.

This first shop is called ‘My Paper Cave’ and you can find these lovely decoupaged hangers. It is hard to find pretty hangers and this shop will do personalised ones too.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/mypapercave?ref=pr_shop_more

 

This 2nd shop is called ‘Stained Glass Handmade’ and I love these gorgeous drinking glasses. What beautiful colours! 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/StainedGlassHandmade

 

If you like jewellery, then this little shop by ‘Anne Tranholm’ has beautiful, geometric jewellery.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/AnneTranholm

 

 

Lastly this shop called ‘Theoctopress’, creates wonderful prints on plexiglass with a wooden frame.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/Theoctopress

I hope you enjoy these lovely creations and maybe they inspire you for future gift giving.

Always support small businesses. ❤

The Blogger Recognition Award

blogger-recognition-award

I would like to express my deepest thanks to Hubby1979 and Bittersweet1976 & their blog  https://dialogueftdepths.wordpress.com/ , for nominating me for The Blogger Recognition Award. They are a wonderful married couple who write about their struggles with depression. The blog is in the style of writing letters to each other about their feelings, which is a lovely, unique way of sharing their journey with the blogging world.

I’d also like to thank them for reblogging my post ‘Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome’, especially because this is something so many people have experienced and it’s very important to raise awareness.

Here are the guidelines for the award:

  1. Select 15 other blogs you want to give the award to.
  2. You cannot nominate yourself or the person who has nominated you.
  3. Write a post to show your award.
  4. Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  5. Give a piece of advice or two to new bloggers.
  6. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  7. Attach the award badge to the post (right click and save, then upload.)
  8. Comment on each blog and let them know you have nominated them.
  9. Provide a link to the original post on Edge of Night.

HOW MY BLOG STARTED

I initially had started a blog under the same name on tumblr.com http://mychildwithin-blog.tumblr.com/post/109020697308/what-is-our-child-within. I had a huge falling out with my narcissistic mother, after years of keeping my mouth shut and holding my feelings in. I spent the whole Christmas & New Year in 2014 coming to terms with my new found knowledge of narcissistic abuse & grieving the mother I never had. Starting a blog in January 2015 was a way for me to cope with the realisation that I never had a healthy mother (& father).

My blog here on wordpress was created in June 2015 after a very difficult time following my father’s suicide attempt. I spent 2 weeks of utter hell in and out of hospital in ICU and then getting him admitted to a psychiatric hospital for the 2nd week. My father is a narcissist and  a very controlling and self destructive person. He had been severely depressed for 2 years and hadn’t wanted to see a regular therapist. He is also married to a narcissist who is half his age and a gold-digger. The toxic environment he lived in & the lack of support from his wife, lead to his eventual suicide attempt.

Blogging has become a very important part of my life as it is very healing for me and also provides knowledge & and support to many other bloggers with a similar background.

I also want to reduce the stigma of mental illness, share my knowledge & experience of narcissistic abuse and the subsequent recovery of complex trauma.

ADVICE TO NEW BLOGGERS

I would say:

1. Write from the heart and always respect other peoples’ writing and journey.

2. Be friendly, say Hi to your fellow bloggers and re-blog posts that you find very interesting or helpful.

3. Pay any kindness forward!

Lastly, I would like to nominate the following bloggers:

  1. assemblyofme
  2. kellybristow
  3. Val Incognito
  4. mydarkbrain
  5. fightorflights
  6. sometalkofyouandme
  7. luciareachesforfreedom
  8. emma75love
  9. abbiegrrlrecoveryblog
  10. painoftheempath
  11. A glimpse inside of a troubled mind