***A mixed blog post about the positive & negatives of Halloween***
**Possibly triggering to SRA survivors***
When I lived in Greece as a child, Halloween was great fun for me. Being half Scottish, I was the only girl in my Greek school that would occassionaly invite friends round for a small Halloween party.It was such a novelty!My mum would help me carve a pumpkin and I would wear different costumes every year. I was fascinated by it, mostly due to the fact that it wasn’t something they celebrated in Greece.My greek friends would also enjoy celebrating it with me .We bobbed for apples and played many other games.
As a young kid, I was at times quite serious and mature for my age, due to being parentified by my mother. Parties & dressing up at Halloween were a great form of escapism for me.. I loved dissappearing into a world of fantasy and play and I very much enjoyed being a kid when I was allowed to be.
As the years went by and I finished school, I moved to England to study my Bachelors in Art. Halloween was suddenly an even bigger part of my life, more so than when I lived in Greece. The shops were filled with decorations,costumes and pumpkins and because I was studying Art, my university had an amazing Halloween ball! I was able to finally dress up properly with my friends and boyfriend at the time and the creativity of the costumes were just incredible.Art students had the most inventive costumes and not all of them were scary. I remember photos of the Simpsons family, the Oompa Loompas from Roald Dahl’s ‘Charlie & the Chocolate factory’ and the Adams family.
Even after I graduated and moved to London, I continued enjoying Halloween parties with all my creative friends.We all just loved having a laugh and thinking of creative ways to dress up. So when I think back to how many years I have properly celebrated Halloween, it is a total of around 20 years.
After I moved in with my partner and got married, Halloween stopped being such a big part of my life anymore. Hubby didn’t really care for it much and generally doesn’t like dressing up. For the last 3 years, I haven’t carved any pumpkins or been to any parties for this reason, as I no longer had anyone close to me who wanted to celebrate it.
Last Year I was in NY for Halloween, which was very interesting. Seeing how people celebrated in the US was good fun, as it was similar to the craziness of London celebrations that I was so used to but with an extra layer of craziness.There was a huge Halloween Parade but also a lot of petty crime.
This year,is the first time I am aware that Halloween is an extremely triggering and traumatic time for alot of people and this is something that deeply saddens me. Before this year I knew nothing about SRA (Satanic ritual abuse).
Now that I am friends with people who have survived this type of abuse and follow their amazingly courageous blogs, it makes me feel strange about Halloween for the first time. The fact that there is something so sinister happening in the background that most people aren’t aware of, is deeply disturbing. The fact that so many innocent victims are tortured and sacrificed at this time of year, is beyond comprehensible but utterly real.
My heart goes out to all SRA survivors at this time of year.I wish there wasn’t such evil in this world and that people who did and still do this, get punished for their disgusting crimes. I also wish that more people were aware that this happens in schools, churches, forests & family homes. That these perpetrators go to extreme lengths to silence their victims and anyone who tries to speak out about the crimes they commit. That these perpetrators literally destroy people’s lives….and that these perpetrators hide behind their social standing as teachers, ministers, parents, friends of parents, doctors and so much more etc..
Halloween, this year and every year from now on I will NOT celebrate you. How can I celebrate you? How can I celebrate you when I know that such horrific things happen.
All I did today was walk in the farmland near my home here in Germany and managed to see my first pumpkin field. This was something I had always wanted to do from a young age and finally managed to do today. This was my last farewell..
Love Athina ♥