Surviving or thriving..

So as some of you have read, I just completed my Certificate in Coaching course 3 days ago! It was an intensive course approved by The British Psychological society and was delivered by 2 very helpful, professional and kind tutors, both working in coaching and psychology.

With every big or small change in life we experience stress, apprehension and a general feeling of wonder. Will it be what I want it to be? Will it open new doors? Will it be the right decision? Will I be happy? This is pretty normal for us humans and even if the change is positive, there is still a feeling of apprehension.

Before I booked the course, I was looking at it as an alternative to another career choice but now I must admit that I am very hopeful I can make a success of it.

The thing I loved the most about it, is that this coaching certificate was with a focus on Cognitive Behavioural models, which tackle problem areas such as unhelpful thinking, anxiety, procastination, perfectionism, being criticised and many more. Flawed thinking can lead to a lot of emotional, behavioural and physical difficulties, so to ignore one’s thinking would be missing a very important part of a successful coaching session.

Most coaching models focus on problem solving, like ‘how do I get from A to B’, or ‘how do I reach a certain goal in regards to life, work or my health’. The role of the coach is to facilitate and help the client unlock their own thinking blocks and to problem solve in a useful way. With the use of different techniques, tables and coaching models the client learns to ‘coach themselves’. If a problem isn’t straighforward and there is an underlying emotional problem that is stopping the client from reaching their goal, then the coach will apply a different set of techniques to tackle the emotional problem first and will then return to the behavioural problem solving as originally attempted.

A big part of my training was applying theory to practice on myself and other delegates. I practiced the models as a coach and as a coachee. It was very insightful to see how much I could help someone with a problem they were facing and also how much the models helped me solve my own problems in a more sensible way.

Humans are all fallible and the thing we seem to be great at is creating problems for ourselves, when there is really no need!

In regards to the title of this blog post, humans shouldn’t just be surviving..We should all be allowed the opportunity to change things for the better and thrive. Through coaching myself and others, I have managed to open so many new doors to mine and others’ thinking.. it really is rather exciting.

Most importantly, apart from the fact that coaches use a certain framework in their work with clients, it is crucial that they are also empathetic, have unconditional positive regard towards the client and truly believe that their client can change. A client has to feel comfortable in the presence of their coach and rapport is very important.

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5 thoughts on “Surviving or thriving..

  1. I’d like to hear more about your coaching certificate. I’m an adult child of a narcissist in the US who has been in CBT for a decade (with next to zero results) and just recently changed over to more of an EMDR-based approach, I have just awful C-PTSD and my hypervigilance-based insomnia is so complete that I don’t sleep at might at all without my daily dose of seroquel. My late “triple-threat” mother (BPD, NPD, ASPD) prevented me from developing any kind of useful social skills ESPECIALLY with regard to relationships, I keep thinking part of my recovery ought to include some kind of formally trained “life coach”. Here in the states such a designation is utterly without credentials or any kind of formal psychological training whatever and therefore such a person would be more likely a burden than an asset, my regular therapist is OK for her designated therapies but she’s neither qualified nor interested in the other issues, please explain how this model works in the UK, thank you.

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    • Hi Jeff, I also have CPTSD from having 2 parents with npd..I feel for you! I am so sorry yours is so severe and you arent able to sleep..
      In the UK there are also many coaching courses which are really crap but if you know where to look for a properly approved course, then all is good.
      The British Psychological Society is a very respected body and I chose my coaching course specifically because it is approved by them.The two tutors I had are both psychologists in their own right and also personal or business coaches.
      I found them extremely kind and empathetic people and felt very comfortable learning from them..
      Coaching is very helpful for many problems but it isn’t therapy. If you have severe trauma, then EMDR would be my suggestion. (I am currently also having EMDR and it has greatly reduced my nightmares, flashbacks etc).. Coaching is great for helping you take baby steps in reaching a goal, however slowly it might be. A goal might be something such as ( being able to sleep without medication for an hour) or being able to go out and socialise..or improving the way you think, or feel..I would be happy to talk to you via email or skype for an informal talk about anything you need and then maybe I can even offer some coaching to you..I think the fact that we have a similar background might be very beneficial to you..Best Wishes to you and if you have any other questions let me know..You are not alone!

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