Death of a family friend..

So today I got news from my mother that a family friend of more than 40 years died last night. He was the same age as my father, 66.

This news came as quite a shock, as I had no idea that his cancer had progressed so much let alone that it was incurable. Turns out he had bone of the worst kinds..

This family friend was a lovely, cheerful man who we used to spend Sundays with when I was a child.My father was his best man at his wedding. We would always go out for Sunday lunch with him and his wife and he was always so affectionate and lovely to us kids. We spent a few Christmas holidays with them too, that I have very fond memories of. He was the only person to show my brother and I how to use our first computer back in the 90’s. and he was always happy to spend time showing us things.He was a very good friend to my parents and was the type of guy you would always get an honest answer from, even if you didn’t like it.

He was lucky enough to be born into a wealthy family and never worked a day in his life. He had a weakness for cigarettes and whiskey and lived a very comfortable life.He was a very giving man and lived life to the full but just not in the healthiest way unfortunately. He had managed to quit smoking 3 years ago but it was already too late.

He loved dogs and often talked about wishing he had had kids.He loved my brother and I like we were family. Unfortunately his wife didn’t want kids and this was something that briefly caused them to separate for a few months. When he found out he had cancer, she moved back in to support him until the end.

I feel sad that I didn’t manage to see or speak to him in the last 2 years, as I had all the grief from my parents to deal with. I spoke to his wife briefly nearly a year ago after my father’s suicide attempt and at the time they were in hospital attending to some small operations on his eyes.

There was also a time when my father and him didn’t talk..This was because he didn’t approve of my father’s wedding to his current gold-digging wife and told my father exactly what he thought, as did many others. Being honest is part of friendship, even if it is not what you want to hear. My father considered that it was unacceptable that his friend didn’t approve of his choice to marry this woman but they could all see how toxic she was right from the beginning. I do wonder if my father is regretting all those years he didn’t keep in touch with him now that he is gone. My mother said that at least my father went to see him in the last month and it was a happy occasion for both of them. Thank goodness for that..

Living abroad is always hard when you have family and friends at distance. It is hard to keep track of everything when you are just living your day to day life.

I am feeling very emotional and will be even sadder for my brother when he also finds out. He really loved this guy. Since he lives a very reclusive life due to his disabilities this is going to sting even more for him.He doesn’t have a lot of people in his life who mean a lot to him, apart from family and family friends. This guy was one of the people that really did mean a great deal to him.

When someone dies, it puts everything into perspective..All the little things in life that might bother us, instantly become meaningless.

I dedicate this video in his memory and wishing him peace. So long my friend..I will never forget you..


9 thoughts on “Death of a family friend..

  1. I’m really sorry for your loss. I am reminded of when an older (a little younger than my parents), male friend of mine died a few years ago (bowel cancer), and what a loss that was, as he was a lot like a mentor to me. Of course, I can’t understand how this feels for you, but I want you to know that you’re in my thoughts, and I am very sorry to read that this has happened. xxx


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