After a successful 1st session of EMDR dealing with my abandonment trauma from childhood, I have to say that the 2nd and 3rd session went really well too.
Before we started the 2nd session, my therapist said that I had already done a lot of work in therapy dealing with my abandonment from childhood, as I responded less emotionally as she would have expected on the first session. I had increased dreams of abandonment in between the sessions, which is when a lot of the reprocessing occurs. In the 2nd session we repeated the steps from session 1 and each time she would ask me to imagine the situation and asked me to give her a number for the intensity of feelings from a scale of 0-10.
In my case, the question was ‘how unloved’ did I feel when I imagined the abandonment situation in my past (after she did the left & and right tapping). A successful EMDR session means that each time the brain is stimulated with the eye movements or tapping, the intensity of the trauma feeling is supposed to lessen. I went from a 7 right down to a 1 which is pretty good. When I thought of the original situation I didn’t feel anything. I was almost neutral which is the desired result.
I am generally very content with the result but as it seems that this trauma seemed to have already been dealt with a lot through talk therapy and grieving, I am really looking forward to dealing with my more painful traumas of the ‘Critical parent’, ‘ Relationship abuse & abandonment) and my ‘Father’s suicide’.
The nightmares I have of being abandoned by my husband are related to my first relationship trauma, where my 1st boyfriend was abusive to me for 2 years and eventually cheated on me. This was when I was 22 and I found out through a friend that he cheated. I went round to his house uninvited to find the girl in his bed. I confronted him and told him he was a coward to not have the decency to at least finish with me. He was extremely insensitive and treated me like I was a nobody. He discarded me when he found his next victim, as most narcissists do. I was absolutely heartbroken and this has followed me around until now. I am triggered all the time by tiny things, even though my husband is loyal and extremely caring.
Next Wednesday I think I will choose to focus on this 2nd second abandonment trauma first. I am looking forward to finally having less flashbacks and triggers and to be able to feel even more relaxed with my husband and our future.