Envy is destructive..

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Another nasty trait I have noticed with narcissists/psychopaths and toxic people is their inability to be genuinely happy for someone.

They might pretend to be happy for you, but will make sure that you know that they really aren’t. They will always try to bring you down with a negative remark of some sort.  This is something I have witnessed in both my mother and a few friends, which are now no longer friends.

My mother was and still is like this..I can always tell when she is envious, because she says things like ‘I wish I could also do that’ or if I announce that I want to take on a new challenge, she will find something negative to say, to stop me from doing it as she doesn’t want me to be better than her in any way..She likes planting seeds of doubt and wants to stop me from progressing and being happy. I also noticed her envy in many other instances..It is truly sad that a mother is so dysfunctional that she tries to sabotage her own daughters’ happiness.

For most of my childhood I was always given the message by my mother that I am just not good enough to succeed or do well. Her envy and superiority towards me has been poisonous. If I wanted to apply to study something academic, she told me that I am just not academic enough and it’s not something that she thinks is right for me.This was after my acceptance letter arrived with an unconditional offer to do a masters in Art Therapy. When I first met my now husband, she found all sorts of faults in him and even a week or two before we got married, she tried to sabotage the marriage by saying she ‘worries he isn’t right for me’..This was after she saw how happy I was with him. If she was just showing genuine motherly concern then I would be understanding..but she isn’t genuine…she is severely disordered with narcissistic/borderline/histrionic  traits..

I now no longer share anything with her. I keep all my aspirations to myself and I will somehow make all my dreams come true, by hiding the truth from her..The more she doesn’t know, the less she can offer her sabotaging advice..

Who said you can’t change your life for the better in your 3o’s?

Who said I can’t study psychology and art therapy at the age of 33…I can do anything I want to do..

I have an encouraging husband and ‘normal, healthy friends’…

Toxic, envious people are no longer allowed into my private life..

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One thought on “Envy is destructive..

  1. It really is better not to share aspirations with them. You are very right about that.
    They will bring you down somehow and crush your self esteem. I had to learn this the hard way too. Better to keep plans and dreams away from the claws of narcissistic family or friends.
    Even years after you have not spoken to them, their negative view of what you can and cannot do lingers like a shadow in your mind.

    Like

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