When healing from this type of abuse, you are more vulnerable to being ‘shamed’ further by people who don’t understand the trauma you have endured. This can be by anyone, including psychologists, life coaches, ministers, family & friends.
In my experience,the best thing you can do is find a trauma therapist who has a lot of experience in dealing with clients of this type of background. It has to feel safe and it is always best to find someone by recommendation, especially through people you trust or who are on a similar journey. I can see a lot of very helpful blogs on here, that offer valuable information on healing from trauma and some of them are even professional coaches. It is also very helpful to find someone that has also suffered narcissistic abuse in their own personal life and then trained as a counselor. They have a deep level of empathy and that is what you need. Validation of your pain, your anger, your grieving and assistance in working through those feelings until you feel better able to cope with the trauma and complex stress you still carry with you.
I myself am not a psychologist. I studied Psychology in my final year of school and will be starting a masters in Art Therapy next year. When I see another person suffering or in a situation that is similar to the abuse I have endured, I want to reach out and minimise their pain, by offering support & a listening ear. Most survivors of abuse want to help others, as they know how painful and destructive it can be.
I am working through so many layers of trauma at the moment, I am constantly having nightmares of abandonment, betrayal and cruelty. I am starting EMDR to deal with my multiple traumas and so far I’ve only had 1 session,as a practice session, to deal with my fear of flying and for my therapist to see how quickly my brain reacts to the treatment. It was exhausting and I had a panic attack that same evening, but that is because I am still processing so much recent trauma from my father’s suicide attempt.
I am realising how delicate I am from all the traumas I have endured repeatedly and also how much more hypervigilant I am compared to the average healthy person. I am learning to have so much more self compassion for myself and it has been very helpful sharing my experiences on here, alongside other bloggers and survivors of abuse.
Thank you to all of you who share your thoughts & are with me on this journey!