So I am currently in therapy ‘again’ continuing my healing & recovery work. I thought after falling out with my mum before Christmas and grieving the fact that I never had ‘a healthy mother’ was a good start to the process of ‘divorcing’ my parents. My Dad also attempted suicide 3 weeks ago and put me through hell again with more drama & trauma. Both of them are blind to their narcissistic behaviour and don’t realise how damaging it is..My C PTSD will never heal if I don’t keep my distance in a healthy way..
I have to continue living my own life with my husband and make that my priority. My husband has been there for me more than either of my parents and I have to protect him from their self destruction. We only got married 8months ago and since then I have had massive dramas with both my parents. He has now realised how deep their dysfunction is and is also deeply affected by the fact that his ‘new family’ is worse than he thought..I did warn him..He doesn’t have any parents, so its quite an unfortunate development. Our love is healthy & strong though and we support each other well..I am so grateful for having him in my life! My years of therapy & self awareness were good for something!
My biggest worry at the moment, isn’t my Dad’s possible 2nd attempt but more the debt he might leave me from the immature money choices he has made in his life. He is 66 and has a 39 year old wife and also a 9 year old little boy (my half brother). His wife is also narcissistic and immature and my poor little brother is yet another abuse victim, caught up in all their vile arguing, violence & dysfunction. I am so angry that this personality disorder ruins so many lives! I spent 1 week in Intensive Care with my Dad and one week in a psychiatric ward that I managed to get him in.It took me 4 hours to finally convince him. He told me I was putting him in a prison and that everyone is against him. I had to work with his wife & my husband to get him admitted. He hates psychologists and thinks he knows best, as is the case with most narcissists.
Anyhow, I’m taking it one day at the time at the moment dealing with emotions of grief, anger & a general feeling of wtf!!
Writing my thoughts down in a blog, seemed like the right way to go with dealing with all this.
Thanks for listening & and if any of you have similar experiences, please share them.