I am divorcing my narcissistic/histrionic parents..(possibly triggering)

nnmSo I am currently in therapy ‘again’ continuing my healing & recovery work. I thought after falling out with my mum before Christmas and grieving the fact that I never had ‘a healthy mother’ was a good start to the process of ‘divorcing’ my parents. My Dad also attempted suicide 3 weeks ago and put me through hell again with more drama & trauma. Both of them are blind to their narcissistic behaviour and don’t realise how damaging it is..My C PTSD will never heal if I don’t keep my distance in a healthy way..

I have to continue living my own life with my husband and make that my priority. My husband has been there for me more than either of my parents and I have to protect him from their self destruction. We only got married 8months ago and since then I have had massive dramas with both my parents. He has now realised how deep their dysfunction is and is also deeply affected by the fact that his ‘new family’ is worse than he thought..I did warn him..He doesn’t have any parents, so its quite an unfortunate development. Our love is healthy & strong though and we support each other well..I am so grateful for having him in my life! My years of therapy & self awareness were good for something!

My biggest worry at the moment, isn’t my Dad’s possible 2nd attempt but more the debt he might leave me from the immature money choices he has made in his life. He is 66 and has a 39 year old wife and also a 9 year old little boy (my half brother). His wife is also narcissistic and immature and my poor little brother is yet another abuse victim, caught up in all their vile arguing, violence & dysfunction. I am so angry that this personality disorder ruins so many lives! I spent 1 week in Intensive Care with my Dad and one week in a psychiatric ward that I managed to get him in.It took me 4 hours to finally convince him. He told me I was putting him in a prison and that everyone is against him. I had to work with his wife & my husband to get him admitted. He hates psychologists and thinks he knows best, as is the case with most narcissists.

Anyhow, I’m taking it one day at the time at the moment dealing with emotions of grief, anger & a general feeling of wtf!!

Writing my thoughts down in a blog, seemed like the right way to go with dealing with all this.

Thanks for listening & and if any of you have similar experiences, please share them.

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2 thoughts on “I am divorcing my narcissistic/histrionic parents..(possibly triggering)

  1. I think the drama I find myself dealing with from my narcissistic mum is sudden, unexplained outbursts. I dealt with one about two weeks ago where she ranted till 1 am. I would have really loved to move out but i’m still in the process of putting my finances in order to be able to do so.
    One of my close friends who knows about my mum thinks i’m only making excuses for not moving out sooner. Of course i have never told her that my mum is disordered. Only about how my mum acts outrageously at times. People who have never been through it, don’t understand that other people could be having personality disorders so i do not waste my breath explaining my mum’s true make up. I simply know that if i’m to truly move out and live a fulfilled life is when i can be able to fully support myself and depend on nobody for anything. My narc mum has always been one to remind us of what she has done for my sister and I in the past. I dont want her to have reason to state that when i’m finally in my house.
    Another of my mother’s drama is her constant refusal to take her hypertension meds. I have tried telling her countless times that the mere act of ignoring her meds can cause her a stroke but she never listens.
    Narcissists use drama to keep their victims around, so I have come to understand. Her refusal to take medication, her unnecessary outbursts, your dad’s suicide attempt… These people just take advantage of the fact that their victims care for others and use it selfishly for their own intentions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sorry to hear you experience all this too..It is indeed true that they abuse our kindness and caring, to give them supply and make themselves feel better. It is very sad..The meds thing and general ‘self’-care’ can be really bad with narcissists..My Dad neglected his health his whole life..He never smoked or drank, but loved his food and got diabetes from it..He neglected his diabetes, which caused a nerve in his foot to go dead & which also caused a hematoma in his brain and he also neglected his heart appointment and ended up getting a pacemaker fitted after his suicide attempt. He is 68 this year and looks a lot older than he is..
      In regards to your decision to leave your mum’s house, I think you are doing the right thing. It is very important to be able to support yourself completely. If not, then she might use it against you when you finally move out and maybe need financial help in the future! It is better to avoid that from happening and be sure you can look after yourself. I wish you the best of luck with this and completely relate to not explaining it to friends who can’t understand. I am the same with my friends, because they dont ‘get it’at all. x

      Liked by 1 person

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